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It's a machine!
It's a machine!
You know, like, the guy will be, like,
You know, like, the guy will be, like,
He told you that?
He told you that?
[WHEEZING LAUGH]
[WHEEZING LAUGH]
Come on, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
You know, i-i-if you want.
You know, i-i-if you want.
and you're drinking the exact product
and you're drinking the exact product
You're kicking me out of my house?
You're kicking me out of my house?
GEORGE: Tippy toe! Tippy toe! Uh, lemon tree!
GEORGE: Tippy toe! Tippy toe! Uh, lemon tree!
Some people have a little too much fun on television.
Some people have a little too much fun on television.
You get mad at somebody on a real phone,
You get mad at somebody on a real phone,
No, he would never actually tell me anything like that.
No, he would never actually tell me anything like that.
"I know you're there,
"I know you're there,
with potato chip crumbs on their face.
with potato chip crumbs on their face.
"'when you were eating
"'when you were eating
"Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine."
"Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine."
I asked some friends of mine this week,
I asked some friends of mine this week,
Where do they summon this enthusiasm?
Where do they summon this enthusiasm?
"Keep it up. Don't blow it. You're doing great."
"Keep it up. Don't blow it. You're doing great."
For me to ask a woman out,
For me to ask a woman out,
Donna.
Donna.
He did that?
He did that?
Thursday's great.
Thursday's great.
I like that commercial.
I like that commercial.
I can't drink coffee late at night.
I can't drink coffee late at night.
Say? What? Nothing. I didn't...
Say? What? Nothing. I didn't...
I don't know what to do, so I stood there like--
I don't know what to do, so I stood there like--
We were talking about that commercial.
We were talking about that commercial.
Yeah, take it easy.
Yeah, take it easy.
All she'll think is that you like her.
All she'll think is that you like her.
"and then you don't call me back for four days?
"and then you don't call me back for four days?
"Where the hell do you get the nerve?
"Where the hell do you get the nerve?
Doesn't that bother you?
Doesn't that bother you?
Today.
Today.
I could sit on a porch and wrestle around
I could sit on a porch and wrestle around
he wasn't supposed to,
he wasn't supposed to,
"I don't like coffee! I don't have to come up!
"I don't like coffee! I don't have to come up!
Don't worry about it. It wasn't working anyway.
Don't worry about it. It wasn't working anyway.
[IMITATES ANNOUNCER] One-hundred percent cotton Dockers.
[IMITATES ANNOUNCER] One-hundred percent cotton Dockers.
Whoa, uh...I'm sorry.
Whoa, uh...I'm sorry.
Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic,
Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic,
It's enough already with the apples.
It's enough already with the apples.
Now I'm in the worst position of all.
Now I'm in the worst position of all.
the woman's looking at the guy thinking,
the woman's looking at the guy thinking,
and I let fly like Mussolini from the balcony.
and I let fly like Mussolini from the balcony.
Oh.
Oh.
Then I got off the phone right away.
Then I got off the phone right away.
Hey, I know guys like that.
Hey, I know guys like that.
Take it easy!
Take it easy!
That's why I have 40 pairs of underwear.
That's why I have 40 pairs of underwear.
I don't know...
I don't know...
the machine comes on,
the machine comes on,
If they're not Dockers, they're just pants.
If they're not Dockers, they're just pants.
Remember how Quayle looked
Remember how Quayle looked
And to cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple,
And to cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple,
and that way, we could give Jerry a ride home.
and that way, we could give Jerry a ride home.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Boy, I'll bet you got a regular Algonquin Round Table there.
Boy, I'll bet you got a regular Algonquin Round Table there.
it makes you sound casual.
it makes you sound casual.
what does that have anything to do with the pants?
what does that have anything to do with the pants?